Today was a great day. I had a good breakfast I felt good and I had a great day at work, it was just an awesome day. I spend so much time at home. I don't go to the club or go out drinking, I don't go dancing and frankly I don't have the desire to do it. I just feel like being at home...alone....by myself with my own thoughts and me as my own company. It seems a little strange at times, but I like it. I like being at home, I don't want to got out. I thought I was alone in that until someone sent me a message saying they felt the same way. It was such a blessing to know that I'm not the only one, I'm not a weirdo. God has done me the favor of taking the desire to drink, date, party, club and stay out late out of my system. Not saying sometimes I don't feel like going salsa dancing or something, but I know I'm really close to something great and I just don't want to mess it up.
I asked God for wisdom, strength, enormous faith and a host of other things. I guess when you ask Him for something, He sort of takes you the round about way. In my closet I am learning complete dependence on God. He's fostering that mountain moving faith in me. He's challenging every thought in my mind that conflicts with His plans for my life. I know that if I hold on through this season, the great things I've been expecting from Him will manifest themselves.
I happen to believe I can have anything I desire, if I believe it and speak it with full confidence, not wavering. God has been blessing me and showing me through the small things that He is working on my behalf and He will continue to do these small thing and much greater things if I just trust and believe.
Being a Christian can feel strange at times because you don't always fit in. I feel very alone sometimes, but I don't feel lonely. I am content with me and God. Perhaps I should want to do more, but I don't. I am focused on the future and the things I want to accomplish. God has mercifully delivered me from the hands of the enemy and I will live victorious from this day forward.
The enemy comes in so many shapes and forms, but God always lets you know whats wrong and what's right. what's of Him and what's not. God is so merciful and so just. He's loving compassionate and such a great friend. I have found myself about to make life altering, potentially devastating decisions and God has stepped in and said, "No, don't do it. That decision is not best." I would have ruined my life because it didn't seem wrong and it didn't seem like a bad decision, but God knew. I've gone against that voice before and I am oh to familiar with what happens when you don't listen to it. I lived for about 7 years in unhappiness and turmoil.
So, with all that said, I am happy to be in seclusion with God. I'm happy to be the weirdo that God is pleased with. I really long for that day when I meet God face to face, that day I can rest in His arms and say thank you for keeping me when I couldn't keep myself. When I had no where to go and no one to turn to, You were there. When I was sleeping in my car, or sleeping with someone I had no business, you were there, protecting me, shielding me, guiding me, hiding me from the enemy, even when the enemy was me.
Thank you God for you everlasting love. Why your favor rests upon me I could never explain, but I AM so glad you love me that much. I love You Father.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Some Encourgement
I have been planning my trip for Paris for the past few months. I've been looking and scouring the Internet for good deals and nice places to stay. In my research, I have found that Paris is VERY expensive and may cost me around $6000 to stay for one month. I have high standards and I believe I deserve nothing but the best. So, I asked God for the faith to attract all the resources I need to enjoy myself in Paris. My goal is to have an amazing vacation and my plans are going well.
It takes persistence to program your brain and mouth to think and speak positively. I was the queen of negativity. I use to say things that I won't repeat because the are so negative. The point is, I have been doing the confession "God's Creative Power" by Charles Capps since I was 5 years old, but I didn't realized how powerful it was until recently. My mom woke me up every morning to read this confession. I stopped reading it for a while because, I was grown and I didn't think I needed to read it, but I got back into it recently because I realized my days went better when I read it. It occured to me recently that, to achieve my dreams, I needed more faith and more belief that I could have what I desire. So I set out to gather the resources I needed to have world overcoming faith. I usually read Chapter II of the confession, but this time I read chapter I and realized what I needed was right under my nose the whole time. It just required a little tweaking to make it personal. So here is how I have begun to sustain my life changing faith. I do it through prayer and reading the following affirmations.
The following is my edited version of "God's Creative Power" Chapter I, by Charles Capps.
Positive spoken words program your spirit (heart) to success. Words are containers. they carry faith and they produce after their kind.
"So then faith cometh my hearing and hearing by the Word of God" (Rom 10:17). Faith comes more quickly when you hear yourself quoting, speaking and saying the things God said. You will more readily receive God's Word into your spirit by hearing yourself say it than if you hear someone else say it.
God said, "Confessing the Word is a scientific application of My wisdom to the psychological makeup of man."
And it works, thank God. Neesa you are the body of Christ, you must begin to live in the authority of the Word . For God's Word is creative power. That Creative power is produced by the heart, formed by the mouth in word form.
Just speaking the Word will bring what you desire. God said,"My creative power is given to man in the Word form. I have ceased for a time from my work and have given to man the book of MY CREATIVE POWER. That power is STILL IN MY WORD.
For it to be effective , Neesa you must speak it in faith. Jesus spoke it when He was on earth and as it worked then so shall it work now. But it must be spoken by you. Neesa you must rise up and have dominion over the power of evil by your words. It is God's greatest desire that His people create a better life by the spoken Word. For His word has not lost it's power just because it was spoken once. It is still equally as powerful today as when He said, 'Let there be light.'
But for God's Word to be effective, Neesa you must speak it, and that creative power will come forth performing that which you speak in faith.
God's Word is powerful.
My words are powerful.
"Be not conformed, but transformed into the body of faith, knowing that my Words are alive evermore. believe, speak, and obtain that your joy may be full and you shall be complete in Me."
Confess Victory in the face of apparent defeat. Confess abundance in the face of apparent lack.
It will change your life as you receive it. Let's put it in the context of which He spoke.
Mark 11:23, "For verily I say unto you, that whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith."
I CAN HAVE WHATEVER I SAY!!!
A correct application of this spiritual law will make even the seemingly impossible situations possible. Every faith principle and every spiritual law that God set forth in His Word was for your benefit. It was designed to put YOU over in life.
You can have what you say if you learn to release faith from the heart in your words. Jesus said,"...as thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee" (Matt 8:13)
"...God is not mocked, whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap" (Gal 6:7).
The spiritual law is based on the same basic principle of seed-time harvest. The words you speak are seeds that produce after their kind. Just as sure as they are planted, you can be equally sure a harvest will follow.
Faith talks. When it talks, it talks faith.
Learn to take the Words of Jesus personally. In Mark 11:23, Jesus tells you that you can have what you say if what you say comes from faith in your heart.
God said, "Today it will come to pass, I have laid my hand on you Neesa, and everything you say will happen just as you say it."
Let us train ourselves to speak God's Word. Ephesians 5:1 tells us, to be followers of God, as dear children..." The word, "followers" in the Greek means to imitate. We are to imitate God as a child does his father. If a child imitates his father, he will walk like him, talk like him; and pattern his every move after him.
We should do this and more after our Father, God.
When you study the life of Jesus you will find there are several important facts that caused Him to overcome the world, the flesh and the devil. If you want to be victorious, you must do the following:
So far I found a round trip ticket for about $800. I have the option to stay in the Paris Marriott off the Champs-Elysee for one month for about $3000 dollars which will include lunch for the whole month. Normally, it would be that much for about 7 days not including the meals. I saw myself there in my mind a few weeks ago and in my heart I believed it. I spoke what I wanted and it came to pass. This is proof positive that big faith yields big results. God kept telling me money is not an object, figure out what I want and believe HE can do it. So that's what I'm doing. I'm finally tapping into the blessings and favor I had access to all along. You can do it too! It's all a matter of YOUR FAITH.
God's Word says, He will withhold no good thing from those love and trust him. It also says, I can say to any mountain, be thou removed and cast into the sea and it will remove itself if I trust and (they key to the whole thing) DO NOT DOUBT! Now that is the revelation, DO NOT DOUBT!! I can move the mountain of financial burdens, the mountain of problem children or no children. The mountain of lonliness can be moved and you can call forth the person that God has designed for you. Negative speech inhibits blessings. If we say things like, it probably won't happen, I can settle for that, Great men are hard to find, it's a long shot, I don't have the money, I don't think they'll do it for me, I don't have enough experience, that's exactly what you'll have. But God opened my mind and revealed to me, I can have whatever I desire if I only believe and speak what I believe in my heart. Essentially, my faith and my mouth determines my blessing. If I believe big, speak big and have big faith, I can have big blessings.It takes persistence to program your brain and mouth to think and speak positively. I was the queen of negativity. I use to say things that I won't repeat because the are so negative. The point is, I have been doing the confession "God's Creative Power" by Charles Capps since I was 5 years old, but I didn't realized how powerful it was until recently. My mom woke me up every morning to read this confession. I stopped reading it for a while because, I was grown and I didn't think I needed to read it, but I got back into it recently because I realized my days went better when I read it. It occured to me recently that, to achieve my dreams, I needed more faith and more belief that I could have what I desire. So I set out to gather the resources I needed to have world overcoming faith. I usually read Chapter II of the confession, but this time I read chapter I and realized what I needed was right under my nose the whole time. It just required a little tweaking to make it personal. So here is how I have begun to sustain my life changing faith. I do it through prayer and reading the following affirmations.
The following is my edited version of "God's Creative Power" Chapter I, by Charles Capps.
Positive spoken words program your spirit (heart) to success. Words are containers. they carry faith and they produce after their kind.
"So then faith cometh my hearing and hearing by the Word of God" (Rom 10:17). Faith comes more quickly when you hear yourself quoting, speaking and saying the things God said. You will more readily receive God's Word into your spirit by hearing yourself say it than if you hear someone else say it.
God said, "Confessing the Word is a scientific application of My wisdom to the psychological makeup of man."
And it works, thank God. Neesa you are the body of Christ, you must begin to live in the authority of the Word . For God's Word is creative power. That Creative power is produced by the heart, formed by the mouth in word form.
Just speaking the Word will bring what you desire. God said,"My creative power is given to man in the Word form. I have ceased for a time from my work and have given to man the book of MY CREATIVE POWER. That power is STILL IN MY WORD.
For it to be effective , Neesa you must speak it in faith. Jesus spoke it when He was on earth and as it worked then so shall it work now. But it must be spoken by you. Neesa you must rise up and have dominion over the power of evil by your words. It is God's greatest desire that His people create a better life by the spoken Word. For His word has not lost it's power just because it was spoken once. It is still equally as powerful today as when He said, 'Let there be light.'
But for God's Word to be effective, Neesa you must speak it, and that creative power will come forth performing that which you speak in faith.
God's Word is powerful.
My words are powerful.
"Be not conformed, but transformed into the body of faith, knowing that my Words are alive evermore. believe, speak, and obtain that your joy may be full and you shall be complete in Me."
Confess Victory in the face of apparent defeat. Confess abundance in the face of apparent lack.
It will change your life as you receive it. Let's put it in the context of which He spoke.
Mark 11:23, "For verily I say unto you, that whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith."
I CAN HAVE WHATEVER I SAY!!!
A correct application of this spiritual law will make even the seemingly impossible situations possible. Every faith principle and every spiritual law that God set forth in His Word was for your benefit. It was designed to put YOU over in life.
You can have what you say if you learn to release faith from the heart in your words. Jesus said,"...as thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee" (Matt 8:13)
"...God is not mocked, whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap" (Gal 6:7).
The spiritual law is based on the same basic principle of seed-time harvest. The words you speak are seeds that produce after their kind. Just as sure as they are planted, you can be equally sure a harvest will follow.
Faith talks. When it talks, it talks faith.
Learn to take the Words of Jesus personally. In Mark 11:23, Jesus tells you that you can have what you say if what you say comes from faith in your heart.
God said, "Today it will come to pass, I have laid my hand on you Neesa, and everything you say will happen just as you say it."
Let us train ourselves to speak God's Word. Ephesians 5:1 tells us, to be followers of God, as dear children..." The word, "followers" in the Greek means to imitate. We are to imitate God as a child does his father. If a child imitates his father, he will walk like him, talk like him; and pattern his every move after him.
We should do this and more after our Father, God.
When you study the life of Jesus you will find there are several important facts that caused Him to overcome the world, the flesh and the devil. If you want to be victorious, you must do the following:
- You must spend time in prayer and pray the answer. What God said is the answer.
- Speak accurately, never crooked speech. Let your conversations always be wholesome and good. They should consist of what God says.
- Always speak the end result, not the problem or the present circumstances. Speak the desired result.
- Use the written word to defeat Satan.
The Word of God conceived in the Heart, formed by the tongue and spoken out of the mouth is Creative Power!!
I'm going to stop here. This is the place where I did the most editing. I read chapter II everyday, but I take out the negative words. For example, instead of saying Lord is my shepherd and I do not want." I change it to, "The Lord is my shepherd, I have everything I need." Try inserting your name in different places, it makes it more personal.
I encourage you to purchase this little book. It's only about $2 but it will change your life. I also encourage you to take negative and crooked words out of your speech. Erase self-defeating thoughts from your mind. Speak only good of your situation and others. Speak and think the situation you desire, not your current circumstances and GET IN THE WORD and IN THE FACE OF GOD!! The stories in the bible will help you see real examples of faith and God's ability to give you your hearts desire. So DREAM BIG!! Believe with all your heart and confess with your mouth that what you desire will come to pass and IT WILL HAPPEN.
God Bless you on your journey to BIGGER FAITH!!
Monday, June 23, 2008
Diary 6-24-08
Dear Lord,
Here I am again coming to you asking for your help, pleading with you to give me some wisdom and a lot more strength. Why is it that it seems I can do well up to a certain point then I feel like all hell comes for me and I struggle to stay strong. When the enemy forces come for me, they don't fight fair. Don't leave me Lord, I need you like never before. I'm alone in this world and all I really have is You. Sometimes being alone is really difficult. There are those who I care about, those who I would consider my family, but some of them don't see me the same way. The people I really care about don't always realize just how lonely it is sometimes, but then again if it was meant for them to be there for me at those certain times then they would be there.
I am trying to develop more a dependence on you Lord, but the truth is, it's a struggle. I struggle to keep strong faith because I'm afraid you won't come through for me because I can't be perfect. Sometimes I feel like there are all these stipulations to be blessed by you, but maybe they are imposed on me by me. Maybe I think this way because that's the way I have been conditioned to think....that god can't do anything for me unless I'm perfect. Maybe I should just be me and do the things I know I should do and not worry about it. Maybe the things I desire are already done by You, I just have to stop worrying about it. I don't want to worry about whether you will take care of me Lord, I just want to know it, rest in you and believe, do my best and cast my cares upon you. Yes!! I feel lonely at times, like I have to be by myself and that is painful. So Lord, I just want you to know at this point, I am not very strong. I feel isolated and helpless at times. I know you have a plan for me, it is of good and not of evil, to give me hope and a future. I read about Jesus and the disciples and I realize more and more that they were not perfect either. They had flaws, they lacked faith and they were right there with You and you chose them anyway, which means we...I may have the same trials. Lord, I know you are real and of the many things you do....but sometimes I'm afraid you won't do them for me. I have to stop thinking that way. You love me and your Word says You will not leave me and I just have to stand on that and know that no matter how much I mess up, everyday is a new day, another chance to get it right. "With men it is impossible, but not with God; with God all things are possible." (Mark 10:27)
All I need is faith. Almost every time Jesus healed someone he would say, "...thy faith has made thee well, thy faith has made thee whole." So, I guess it's our faith that makes You work on our behalf. You will do as much for me as I believe...it seems so easy. Today, I decide to believe that God has an apartment for me in Paris, just perfect for me, better than what I could imagine. He has a job all set up for me already and He is conspiring to give me what I need to be a success. I will be patient for You and I will trust You! I will not fear, I will believe today! It tells us in Matthew 6:25, "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink: nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing. (v.26) Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap not gather into barns yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more valuable than they? (v.27) which of you by worrying can make yourself taller? (v.28) so why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, (v.29) and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. (v.30) Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? (v.31) therefore do not worry saying, "What shall we eat? what shall we drink? what shall we wear?(v.32) For all these things the non-believers seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. (v.33) But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. (v.34) Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble.
Thank you God for your Word and for reminding me that You have everything in Your hand. And all I need to do is focus on serving you the best I can TODAY. I love you Lord, thank you! I sometimes I may not have enough faith for tomorrow, so I just need to focus on today. Lord, give me a measure of faith for today. I love you so much Lord, thank you! Thank you, thank you for lifting my heavy burdens of doubt. Thank you for allowing me to feel your spirit near me again. Those who talk about You and say YOU don't exist or that Jesus was just a man, Don't know you. You are so loving and merciful, we don't deserve your goodness but you are good to us anyway. You allow us to live, you give us air to breathe. I thank you for allowing me to see another day because surely, it could have been the other way. Someone woke up looking death in the face. Someone woke up hungry, but you have blessed me. I have my health, I have my strength and I have a heart that wants and deeply desires to please you and I have a sound mind. Thank you Lord, I am grateful.
Last year, this time, I was sick, my body was racked with pain, but you saw fit to touch me and heal me and deliver me from that pain. you are real and I thank you for being real to me. You are my Father the only true Father I have ever known. I love You, I trust you!!
Mark 11:(v.22b), "Have faith in God. (v.23) For assuredly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea', and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. (v.24) Therefore I say to you, whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in Heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. (v.26) But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Here I am again coming to you asking for your help, pleading with you to give me some wisdom and a lot more strength. Why is it that it seems I can do well up to a certain point then I feel like all hell comes for me and I struggle to stay strong. When the enemy forces come for me, they don't fight fair. Don't leave me Lord, I need you like never before. I'm alone in this world and all I really have is You. Sometimes being alone is really difficult. There are those who I care about, those who I would consider my family, but some of them don't see me the same way. The people I really care about don't always realize just how lonely it is sometimes, but then again if it was meant for them to be there for me at those certain times then they would be there.
I am trying to develop more a dependence on you Lord, but the truth is, it's a struggle. I struggle to keep strong faith because I'm afraid you won't come through for me because I can't be perfect. Sometimes I feel like there are all these stipulations to be blessed by you, but maybe they are imposed on me by me. Maybe I think this way because that's the way I have been conditioned to think....that god can't do anything for me unless I'm perfect. Maybe I should just be me and do the things I know I should do and not worry about it. Maybe the things I desire are already done by You, I just have to stop worrying about it. I don't want to worry about whether you will take care of me Lord, I just want to know it, rest in you and believe, do my best and cast my cares upon you. Yes!! I feel lonely at times, like I have to be by myself and that is painful. So Lord, I just want you to know at this point, I am not very strong. I feel isolated and helpless at times. I know you have a plan for me, it is of good and not of evil, to give me hope and a future. I read about Jesus and the disciples and I realize more and more that they were not perfect either. They had flaws, they lacked faith and they were right there with You and you chose them anyway, which means we...I may have the same trials. Lord, I know you are real and of the many things you do....but sometimes I'm afraid you won't do them for me. I have to stop thinking that way. You love me and your Word says You will not leave me and I just have to stand on that and know that no matter how much I mess up, everyday is a new day, another chance to get it right. "With men it is impossible, but not with God; with God all things are possible." (Mark 10:27)
All I need is faith. Almost every time Jesus healed someone he would say, "...thy faith has made thee well, thy faith has made thee whole." So, I guess it's our faith that makes You work on our behalf. You will do as much for me as I believe...it seems so easy. Today, I decide to believe that God has an apartment for me in Paris, just perfect for me, better than what I could imagine. He has a job all set up for me already and He is conspiring to give me what I need to be a success. I will be patient for You and I will trust You! I will not fear, I will believe today! It tells us in Matthew 6:25, "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink: nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing. (v.26) Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap not gather into barns yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more valuable than they? (v.27) which of you by worrying can make yourself taller? (v.28) so why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, (v.29) and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. (v.30) Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? (v.31) therefore do not worry saying, "What shall we eat? what shall we drink? what shall we wear?(v.32) For all these things the non-believers seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. (v.33) But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. (v.34) Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble.
Thank you God for your Word and for reminding me that You have everything in Your hand. And all I need to do is focus on serving you the best I can TODAY. I love you Lord, thank you! I sometimes I may not have enough faith for tomorrow, so I just need to focus on today. Lord, give me a measure of faith for today. I love you so much Lord, thank you! Thank you, thank you for lifting my heavy burdens of doubt. Thank you for allowing me to feel your spirit near me again. Those who talk about You and say YOU don't exist or that Jesus was just a man, Don't know you. You are so loving and merciful, we don't deserve your goodness but you are good to us anyway. You allow us to live, you give us air to breathe. I thank you for allowing me to see another day because surely, it could have been the other way. Someone woke up looking death in the face. Someone woke up hungry, but you have blessed me. I have my health, I have my strength and I have a heart that wants and deeply desires to please you and I have a sound mind. Thank you Lord, I am grateful.
Last year, this time, I was sick, my body was racked with pain, but you saw fit to touch me and heal me and deliver me from that pain. you are real and I thank you for being real to me. You are my Father the only true Father I have ever known. I love You, I trust you!!
Mark 11:(v.22b), "Have faith in God. (v.23) For assuredly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea', and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. (v.24) Therefore I say to you, whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in Heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. (v.26) But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
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